October 2011
2 posts
So I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all
I’ll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered, all I am is yours
This is something I’ve been fighting against for a while. I’ve struggled with giving everything over to God. I fight against it because I don’t like being in that place where I feel completely vulnerable. I’ve...
1 tag
November 2010
4 posts
In a really good place just now. After how I was feeling at the start of the week and how bad I felt at the weekend I never thought that I’d be able to say that so soon.
I guess everything about how great I’m feeling is to do with God. I eventually gave in and put Him first and decided not to sit around feeling sorry for my self. I decided that I had to be proactive and not just...
Was prepared to write a rather happy blog this week but not now.
I started the week in a good place. I finally felt like i was beating my depression and not just living in it. I’d spent so much time praying about everything that I felt so close to God and so incredibly strong on my faith. I started to feel like I didnt need to feel guilty for being happy anymore and I was incredibly...
Getting ready to go home to start the weekend I’ve been dreading. Its not that its necessarily going to be a bad weekend, its just i don’t want to spend the weekend in tears.
I cant believe it will be two years on Saturday. It still feels like yesterday that I last seen you. I’m still not used to not seeing you every week. It brings me to tears every time I think of you and...
Just had such an amazing night. Completely made me realise how great my friends are. I know that the most important thing in my life and the most important thing in getting my through depression is God. I realised tonight how amazing my friends are are and how supportive they are. I need to learn to rely and trust in my friends more and not keep everything to myself.
I was also reminded of my...
October 2010
3 posts
I’m still being gripped by my depression. Wish I didn’t need to feel so broken. I am fighting it better than ever did before. Last time I would be in the middle of a cycle of self harm by now, thinking that it was my only release. A way to justify the pain I was feeling or to make me feel pain when I was numb. I’ve been fighting against the urge to self harm but feel so close to...
Really not having a great time just now. It just seems like the pain inside will never stop. I just want a time where I feel no pain. I want a time where I feel nothing without feeling numb. Feeling numb is almost as bad as always feeling the pain.
I always said I would never let my depression get this bad again, I would never let it get so out of control. It seems like whenever I feel a bit...
Had such an amazing weekend. Spent so much time with God and learnt so much.
The Jerusalem conference on Saturday was awesome. I learnt so much about God and my faith that I hadn’t even thought of before. Kinda changed my whole outlook in my faith and how I think about it.
The night to honour Israel is on of the best nights I’ve had in my life. I left the event feeling so much closer...
September 2010
1 post
Have had such an amazing and emotional day.
It started with an amazing, God-filled service at church. I could feel God’s presence throughout the whole service. We had one of the best times of praise and worship I’ve ever been in. During worship, I felt God’s love in a way I haven’t in a long time. Such an awesome feeling to completely bask in His presence and feel...
May 2010
1 post
Crazy Uni Times :)
Cannot believe that I’m nearly finished first year of uni already. It’s went to fast. All kinda crazy now though. Getting every ready for my exams and trying to do this essay, which right now is obviously not happening. :) Its been a great first year. Ive made some of the most amazing friends, who I honestly think I’ll be friends with for life. Had the most amazing times,...
April 2010
1 post
Heartbreaking times :(
Why does when everything seems to be going perfectly does something have to happen to bring you down?
Last week my life seemed great, things couldn’t get much better. Uni was great, I was having the most amazing times with my friends and had the best, best friend in the world who I was completely in love with and we had the best times ever and were like a couple, just never official.
That...
